If you have ever watched any of those reality wedding shows, chances are you can easily spot a “Bridezilla” when you see one. You know the type – the girl who is ordering her friends around, lipping off sales people in the bridal store, breaking down and crying at the littlest thing…the list goes on. You sit there, glued to the television and unable to look away, your mouth agape saying, “Omg! That girl is crazy!” And you swear that when the time comes, you would never be like that.
And now you are a bride-to-be (or groom-to-be… it works both ways!), and it’s your turn to have the spotlight on you. But are you starting to think that your friends and family are maybe not being as involved or supportive as you thought they would be? Are your bridesmaids ignoring your phone calls and coming up with excuses for why they can’t go with you to look at invitations? Well, you may want to check yourself…because you could be a Bridezilla!
Here are a few ways to tell if your have been stricken with this terrible wedding-affliction:
1. It’s all got to be perfect…ALL OF IT!
It’s only natural to want everything to be perfect, and no one can blame you for that. However, it is important to understand that life itself, by its very nature, is not perfect. Trust that everyone around you will do their very best to make sure that your day goes according to plan. But while there is nothing wrong with striving for perfection, understand that you also need to be realistic with your expectations of your big day.
2. You are in wedding mode – 24/7
One of the first things people do when they get engaged, is to start trolling the internet for all-things-wedding. While this is a very important step in the planning process, you shouldn’t be eating…talking…sleeping…dreaming about weddings all the time! It is important to take little breaks along the way while you are planning your wedding and that you and your fiance take some time for just the two of you. Having a professional wedding planner can also help you accomplish this!
3. You seem to be having more arguments with people than usual
Okay, while this sounds like it may be an obvious warning sign, it usually isn’t as obvious to the bride/groom. To the bride/groom, it may seem as though friends and family are fighting you at every turn and on every decision, or that they appear distant and unavailable when you need them. Try to think back on the previous discussions you have had with your wedding party and family – does it seem like they have been more “difficult” to deal with as the planning has gone on? If the answer is “yes”, then point that finger back at yourself because YOU may be the issue!
4. You forget your manners
Okay, pop quiz – What’s the “Golden Rule”? Answer: “Treat others the way you would like to be treated”. You’ve grown up hearing this rule and others, like always say “please” and “thank you”, from your parents, teachers, etc. A Bridezilla/Groomzilla will often forget about this and will take help for granted. It is very important to thank people along the way, and not just in the speech at the wedding (although that is important too!). Your friends, family, vendors and your fiance, have all devoted much of their time and energy into helping you put together an amazing wedding. No one could have done all of that themselves, so give thanks and show appreciation!
5. You are controlling and unrealistic
If you say “jump”, everyone around you should say, “how high?”, right? WRONG! Everyone has their own lives and commitments that they need to fulfill on a daily basis and it is unrealistic to expect them to be able to drop everything immediately, if you ask them to. This also is the same with vendors. It is important to remember that you are not their only client and that they have set working hours and schedules that they need to adhere to as well. Expecting a vendor to cancel other appointments to come to your aid NOW is unrealistic and it could put a real strain on your relationship with that vendor.
Whether you are a bride, or a groom, or the Maid of Honour (it happens to YOU too!), it is important to remember that there is no such thing as “perfect”. Being a Bridezilla / Groomzilla ultimately hurts you in the long run because people who you turn to for help, may not be there after your disrespectful treatment of them. This behavior may also hurt your relationships with vendors and they may not want to go over and beyond for you.
You need to trust that your family, friends and even your vendors want you to have an amazing wedding. The sooner you can realize this, the quicker that weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you can enjoy your engagement and your wedding.